Why Availability is Key to Kicking the Avoidance Habit
It is not uncommon to get into the mindset and pattern of knowing what you need to change, why you want to change, and how to change…and then things stop there.
Knowing how to make a change and actually making that change are two very different things. Often what stands in the way is avoidance. Avoidance differs from procrastination in that avoidance is typically tied to a mental/emotional block that persists, while procrastination is more short-term and situational.
When avoidance is persistent, it is typically a sign there is a deeper block — an inherent pattern, irrational belief, fear, etc. — keeping us from the change we want. It’s as though our mind is battling itself — our conscious goals are saying “make this change,” while the unconscious mind says “avoid, avoid, avoid.”
Though avoidance may stem from many different deep, underlying motivators, one strategy to lessen the avoidance is to explore availability.
When we say we want and are ready for a change, are we really available to and for that change? Availability entails having the mental, emotional, and physical space/capacity to hold and enact the growth we are seeking.
You might say “I want to grow my business” or “I want to repair my relationship” or “I’m ready to tackle my depression,” but if not actively shifting to allow the change to happen, you aren’t truly available.
To be available, we need to stay active, intentional, and clear about what we are working toward.
And working toward a goal doesn’t just mean taking action steps on a plan; it means staying in tune with our full being and remaining open. For example, if the goal is to be more physically healthy, it takes more than just following a meal plan and working out. It involves be available to a healthier self.
This could look like tackling underlying emotional issues that triggered unhealthy coping mechanisms with food, believing you are worthy of being healthy, redefining what “healthy” means,” recognizing subtle changes in the mind-body as progress occurs, etc. Try taking this example and inserting your own goal for change.
Another way to understand availability is to ask: if this change I’m seeking were to happen suddenly today, would I be ready? Like a visitor coming over unexpectedly, is your mental, emotional, physical home ready or would you need a frantic cleaning session to be ready and available?
In order to explore availability versus avoidance, ask yourself:
What inherent beliefs do I have about this change I’m trying to make?
What would it look like if I were to really make the change? What mental, emotional, and physical shifts would occur? Am I prepared for these shifts?
Am I available for this change? How do I know? If not, what’s in my way?
What are three things I can do today to become ready for the change I want?
