How to Move Beyond Bullying Our Bodies
Our relationship to our bodies is simultaneously the most intimate, connected, informed relationship and the most volatile, time-consuming, and fragile one.
Our bodies are our physical homes; they are how we know what and when and how we feel. Our bodies are translators, communicators, vessels, connectors. Our bodies free us and allow us to express; to be wild, calm, and every place in-between. Our bodies are wise. They house intuition and cues; they know.
Whether despite or because of all this, we feud with our bodies. We ignore their messages. We mistreat with food or ignore ailments. We deny our bodies basic requirements or desires. We speak badly about or to our bodies as if it’s not our being. We are our bodies; our bodies are not separate from our being.
As such, a seemingly insignificant thought, idea, or action can turn into a lifelong pattern of an unhealthy relationship with our bodies. When we continue patterns of toxicity, they snowball and escalate. Changing this pattern can feel overwhelming and disheartening. But, if we can muster motivation, even small steps toward awareness and health can set us on a healing path.
Often, the times we are our most loving to our bodies are the times we are most in love with ourselves.
When we’re feeling content, driven, accomplished, and wise, we are in tune and listening to and from our bodies. When we’re treating our bodies as if they are meaningless and separate entities, we are usually dissatisfied with one or more aspects of ourselves. This dissatisfaction that manifests as mistreatment of our bodies does not necessarily have to be dissatisfaction physically; we often take out our mental, emotional, social, or spiritual discontentment on our bodies.
We need to practice love and compassion and continue exploring how we can bring unhealthy patterns to light. If we can make one, even small shift in our relationship to our bodies, it will begin to shift other parts of ourselves.
Or, we need to start changing our thoughts or environment or behavior in order to curb the distancing and mistreatment of our bodies. Because our minds, bodies, and spirits are connected, a shift in one area will cause a shift in the others. While on the one hand, this means negativity in one area will cause negativity in another, it also means that awareness, compassion, and positive action in one area will shift our entire being in a meaningful way.
To start exploring the connection (or disconnection) between your body, mind, and spirit, ask yourself these questions:
What are ways you notice your wholeness and/or disconnection?
When are you most at peace with yourself?
How do negative patterns in your relationship to your body manifest in other life areas?
What’s one area in your life you’d like to begin to shift in order to feel more connected and whole?
To start befriending your body, try:
Creating a mantra: “I am whole,” “I deserve love and peace,” “I am connected,” “I am wise”
Setting a goal: set one realistic, attainable, short-term goal related to improving your satisfaction physically (this can look like diet/exercise, positive self-talk, therapy, journaling, coaching, etc).
Tracking your patterns: keep a log of your relationship to your body; note what, why, and when your feel most connected and what, why, and when you feel most disconnected. Compare trends after a month and see what patterns have emerged.
